What I Learned from KonMarie-ing My Children's Rooms

The Kondo Kraze is on the rise.  Thrift stores everywhere have been seeing an influx of donated goods with reasons pointing to the newest Netflix series “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” which teaches those who can’t keep an orderly home to declutter by keeping only items that “Spark Joy” (which brings jokers to throw out their bills because they don’t spark joy). While I did binge the whole season, I also listened to the audiobook version a few years ago.  I remember thinking “Boy! This sounds great! But… does this lady even have kids?” At the time she wrote the book, she didn’t have children, so I scoffed and thought: “Pft… this lady can’t tell me how to live my slovenly, over-consumerized, and vaguely organized life!” Since writing the book, she did get some kiddo’s in her life. When interviewed, Marie Kondo softened her stance a bit and simply acknowledged that it is certainly difficult with children when we want them to have nice things. But between gift giving holidays, projects and papers from school, and “treasures” collected at the park, it’s important to teach children how to care for their things and help them identify what sparks joy.  Kondo insists that at the end of the intense decluttering and tidying process, the clarity creates a happier child who is also happier to tidy their room.

I called Bullshorts.  But, considering I had no idea where I was going to put the children’s new Christmas gifts, I figured I might as well try to Kondo the kids rooms.  

I present to you: my children’s rooms.

Every few days I’d complain about how their rooms aren’t clean and make a big scene about how they need to be better about keeping their rooms clean.  “Just put one thing away before you take out another! It’s not hard!” But what I realized when I would help them clean up, is that I barely knew where to put things.  I was tired of having the same argument and realized they really just needed a fresh start. We rolled up our sleeves and got to work.

Lesson 1:  Each child had a different organization problem.

 My 3 year old boy had categories of things that were easy to identify, but there were just too many toys overall.  My 7 year old daughter however, is a collector of clothes, trinkets, her own artwork, crafting, and groups of toys that in my opinion she would much rather have for the sake of having rather than ACTUALLY playing with them - example:  She has a large collection of My Little Ponies, and Barbies that I RARELY see her play with, but she insists she loves them.

Lesson 2: What sparks YOU joy, is not the same as what sparks THEM joy.  

In reference to the Barbie and My Little Pony debacle, even though I thought it was ridiculous that she would keep something I don’t see her play with, she insisted that she loved them and wants to keep them.  I had to concede because they are not really mine to let go of. My son however stated pretty clearly that he no longer likes his play cooking equipment. Even though I remember him playing with it intently making all kinds of invisible concoctions, it was no longer something he cared for.  I had to accept that, say thank you to the toys (as is the Marie Kondo way) and let it be used by the next caretaker. If I wanted them to take any interest in tidying and caring for their things, they need to be allowed to make choices and take responsibility for them.

Lesson 3:  They can’t keep everything - Set limits.

Going through the process, some kids will cherish every darn thing.  So if I wanted to make any headway, I needed rules. Rule 1: Items needs a category. Rule 2: Categorized items need a home. Rule 3: The collective items in that category need to fit into the home.  My son had an overflow of large and small vehicles. While he did love them, there was just too many.  So we designated a shelf for large cars, and a bin for small cars. He would have to pick his favorites, and let another little boy enjoy them (donate). My daughter’s trinkets and crafts was also overwhelming, but we designated 2 shelves for trinkets, and 3 different categories of crafts to fit into 3 different homes.  If it didn’t fit into the category, or overflowed the designated home, we had to let it go.

Lesson 4: Borrow a few strategies from other cleaning philosophies.  

Like every guru out there who has 1 perfect solution for massive amounts of people, it’s not going to work for everyone all the time.  I bent some Kondo rules, and found solutions that suit us. For example: My son certainly had a lot of categories, but he played with them all in cycles.  I read a strategy that suggested storing certain toys and swap them out about once a month. We utilized a storage shelf in his room that we could reach and change things out, or take them down if he asked for them by name, all the while still allowing the space to be free of the “noise” from too many things. Some family board games we try to enjoy together so we keep them in the living room even though they “belong” in the kids rooms. ::shrug:: It makes us happy.    

At the end of the process, I think we gained a greater respect for our items.  The process of thanking our belongings, and caring for them like the plot to Toy Story might actually be real, helped me change my view of kids toys and items.  The craze of gift-giving during birthdays, holidays, or because we happen to be at Target, is unnecessary, wasteful, and stressful.

It’s been 1 month since we have tidied and here are the results. My 3 year old wakes me up at 6:56, 4 minutes before my alarm and says “I cleaned my room! Aren’t you so proud of me?” You may have just rolled your eyes, but no joke - he does.  My 7 year old is not as enthusiastic, but when I tell her take 5 minutes to tidy her room at the end of the night, it literally takes her 5 minutes and the room pretty much as perfect as the day we put the finished touches on our decluttering process.

Konmarie-ing the kids rooms was a definite win!

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